The Fog is Slowly Lifting

I am starting to move around again albeit more slowly than before. The chemo has a cumulative effect and thus after each treatment it takes me longer and longer to get back to normal (if there is a normal as a cancer patient). I talked with my nurse yesterday who assured me that this was very normal. I get winded easily right now and thus spend more time on the couch than up, but at least I can get a load of laundry done (OK only 1) or prepare dinner for Mark and I. The children come home on Friday and I am so excited to see them, but also apprehensive as I do not have the energy to keep up with a family of 4. Thankfully my mom is coming the day after my next chemo round and she will be staying for the round after that as well.

The coming Wednesday will be my last round of AC. I will start Taxol after that. Apparently, many women do better on the Taxol but my nurse is not so optimistic with me as I appear to get every bad side effect. With Taxol I should no longer feel queasy (‘should’ but it is possible), but I will get severe muscle and bone pains that require a narcotic pain killer for up to 8 days after treatment. In addition, I will be on heavy doses of steroids and thus am worried about more “out of body experiences”.

In general I am in pretty good spirits. I defiantly am not my usual bubbly self but it is hard to feel bubbly when you are nauseous, weak and in minor pain most of the time. I do want to thank everyone for their continuous outpouring of love support, cards and gifts. Wow is all I can say. I never knew that I was loved this much until now.